A: Burn them into a tire and call it a good year
Q: Your wife is barking at the front door, your dog is barking at the back door, Who do you let in??
A: Your dog because at least he stops barking after you let him in
Q: Why do Canadians do it doggy style??
A: So they can both watch the hockey game
Q: How many shrinks (pyschiatrists) does it take to change a lightbulb??
A: only one but it has to really want to change
Q: What does a guy say when he walks into a bar??
A: ouch
Q: How can you tell a blonde chick has had sex with a blonde guy??
A: She's holding her belly button in the morning
A guy walks into a tattoo parlor and tells the man he will give him a $1,000 if he will tattoo a $100 bill onto his genital area as long as he does not ask any questions. The guy agrees and begins.....but by the end of the job his curiousity gets the better of him and he says to the customer, "You can keep your money if you give me one good reason why you wanted this tattoo." The guy replies, "I'll give you 3:
1)-I like to play with money
2)-I like to watch money grow
3)-The next time my wife wants to go to the mall to blow money she can stay home and blow money here
This girl walks into the barber shop with a set of headphones on. She's told to sit down and wait her turn. She sits down and waits. A bit later she goes to get her hair done and the barber takes off her head set. SHE DROPS DEAD!! The barber can't figure out what happened and calls the police. They take her away and try to figure out why she died. They finally figure they'll turn on the stereo to see what she was listening to. They turn it on and hear: "BREATHE IN, BREATHE OUT"
A cowboy goes riding into the desert when he comes across an Indian lying naked in the sun. He stops and asks what he is doing. The Indian replies, "I'm figuring out what time it is by the sun." "What time is then?" "It is 1:45." The cowboy checks his watch and sees that he is right. He continues but comes across another naked Indian lying in the sun. The cowboy asks what he is doing. The Indian replies, "I am checking the time." The cowboy continues and sees another Indian lying naked in the sun but this one is playing with himself. The Cowboy asks what he is doing and the Indian replies, "I am winding my watch!"
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